WIT Proudly Introduces PortaLab: World’s First Urine Analysing Porta Potty

The Wyoming Institute of Technology (WIT) is proud to introduce PortaLab. This groundbreaking new technology will revolutionize the monitoring of drug and alcohol consumption in areas served by portable toilets, such as public parks, music festivals, and state fairs. With this innovation, WIT continues to serve the public through advancements in public safety and development of law enforcement technology.

What is PortaLab?


PortaLab is a technologically sophisticated, fully automated urinalysis lab disguised as a standard Porta Potty. Unsuspecting subjects will enter PortaLab and deposit a urine sample through standard means. Unlike a normal Porta Potty, PortaLab collects the urine sample and subjects it to a battery of tests. These tests will determine if the subject has consumed legal or illegal drugs, an intoxicating level of alcohol, or is consuming alcohol while pregnant. The results are then wirelessly transmitted to nearby law enforcement or security personnel. The analysis takes only 15 seconds and begins as soon as the first ounce of sample has been deposited. Because of the speed of analysis, law enforcement officials can detain flagged individuals as they are exiting PortaLab.

How does PortaLab Work?

PortaLab utilizes Enzyme Linked Immunosorbent Assay (ELISA) technology to detect secondary metabolites generated from drug or alcohol consumption. This highly accurate assay can detect metabolites in the parts per million (ppm) range and has a standard error of only 0.001 ppm. The accuracy and reproducibility of this assay enables law enforcement to utilize test results as probable cause and even present them as evidence at trial.

How can I tell if I am in a PortaLab?

PortaLab has been designed to be indistinguishable from a traditional Porta Potty. Unless you are a trained expert, it is unlikely you will be able to tell if you are using a PortaLab.

What if the person before me was a drug user? Will I wrongly test positive?

PortaLab has an automated rinsing feature that ensures all previous urine is removed from the system before you enter the unit. There is no need to worry that a previous user’s urine will cause a false positive. In our extensive testing, we had a false positive rate of 0%.

How can you legally test my urine without a warrant?

In 1988 the Supreme Court ruled that law enforcement officials can search and collect any items that you throw away, and that these items can be used as evidence against you. This same ruling applies to publicly placed restrooms. Our legal staff has consulted with judges, law enforcement officials, and various legal professionals who have confirmed that this product can be used without your knowledge, your consent, or a warrant.

How can I obtain a PortaLab unit?

All PortaLab units are currently being leased to interested parties through WIT while we finalize testing and calibration. To be eligible for a lease, you must be a qualified law enforcement agency. Please contact WIT directly to see if you qualify.



6 Comments

  1. joe bruce

    July 13, 2014 at 12:48 am

    i can see where this could be useful for jobs schools ect but for law enforcement to use them where mass crowds would be and charge them with being under the influence can be lawful i understand your discards can be used by anyone but just because you test pos for a drug dose not mean you are under the influence some drugs stay in your system for 2 up to 30 days but you not be so called high

  2. joe bruce

    July 13, 2014 at 12:49 am

    cant be lawful******

  3. forrest

    July 14, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    You people are truly sick. It amazes me that you have the nerve to call yourselves the land of the free.

  4. Charles

    July 24, 2014 at 6:36 am

    You should be ashamed of yourselves. Don’t you realize people just want to be left alone and live their lives in peace? What is wrong with you people?

  5. Tim

    August 3, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Have fun cleaning those out after festivals! Shmucks…

  6. John

    August 3, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Love fascism or answer to the fascists!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *