Throughout the animal kingdom, male creatures have been known to use their ostentatious appearances to attract a fertile mate. The peacock, for example, uses his gaily colored plumage to appeal to the opposite sex.
But what about the human male? Certainly their behavior changes in the presence of desirable women, but is there something specific in the dress or physique of a man that attracts the ideal mate? Scientists here at the WIT believe that the answer may lie in their beards.
Our team of experts conducted the study earlier this year in a modern dance club setting. It consisted of a group of twenty women, ages 25-30, as well as ten bearded males, and ten non-bearded males. We also observed one bearded non-male, that we used as a control for the study.
The behavior of all test subjects was closely observed for a period of three hours. From the very first moments, the women flocked to the bearded men. The non-bearded men, being largely excluded from the excitement, seemed to keep to themselves, and the bearded non-male expressed little interest in any test subject, but was very enthusiastic about the wine being served.
After observing the female group’s clear preference for the bearded males, the WIT research team wanted to determine why this was the case. Samples were taken from the beards of the pro-beard group, and after careful analysis, were found to contain a large concentration of pheromones.
One pheromone in particular, called androstadienone, is produced deep in the facial hair follicle and is slowly released during beard growth. Androstadienone has been proven to rouse feelings of safety, security, and sexual desire in women.
It is known from previous research that a female seeks a mate who possesses traits that she would like to see passed on to her offspring. She seeks strength, masculinity and authority. The beard is an outward sign of all these traits and draws the notice of fertile females with ease.
When the women in the study were exposed to the samples extracted from our bearded male group, the results were fascinating. The females displayed acutely flirtatious and downright sexual behavior and, in one extreme case, a woman began immediately to ovulate.
The conclusion is an obvious one: for an optimal courting experience, a man would be wise to grow the best beard possible. The thicker the beard, the larger the output of pheromones, and, the more pheromones one produces, the higher the concentration of fertile women surrounding him.
After concluding this study, the team of scientists at WIT are excited to continue learning more about the beard and it’s importance in human biology. They are currently researching “The Sampson Effect,” which will hopefully prove a correlation between the strength of a man and the length of his beard. It is hoped that the findings will be published in the Annals of Human Biology and Men’s Health Magazine sometime in 2015.